“Loving U Is Beautiful”

 Guest Writer: LaToya Hankins  

     Greetings, Hot Tea and Ice Sippers!  I send you all springtime wishes of non-allergy inducing days and seasonably warm nights.  This is the time of the year we spring forward and make plans to shed our winter woes and embrace a new season of potential.

     One thing I encourage everyone to put away with the long-sleeves, coats, and gloves is doubting yourself and all that you have to offer to the world. Full disclosure:  if comparing your worth and achievements to others and finding yourself lacking were an Olympic sport, I would’ve helped the United States snatch more medals in South Korea!  Sometimes, I’m guilty of looking around and thinking harshly about what I haven’t done and why my to-do list is increasing with each passing year.

     Then I stop and realize: in so many ways, not appreciating the gifts I have and put into play is very disrespectful and counter-productive. I need to love myself–faults and all.

     We are all unique and extraordinary in our own way. To grow and thrive is to realize and walk with that knowledge! Celebrate yourself in ways that feel natural and authentic. Be your own cheerleader.

     When others second-guess your choices, it’s natural for some of us to automatically assume they are right. Many of us have people in our lives who can help us see blind spots, and that advice is often spot-on and needed. They can and should call us on our half-stepping and not living up to the potential that lives within us.

     Then, there are some in our lives who find great glee in knocking our proverbial hustles. They see how we do things and attempt to diminish our efforts to be our best selves.  

     And we let them.

     Some of us put aside the appreciation of our wonderful selves in order to appease others. We sacrifice our shine by shrinking into someone else’s shadow.

     Don’t.  Be brave enough to love yourself when others try to make you feel otherwise, and you know that you are on the right. If that means keeping a journal and writing down everything good you have accomplished and not dwelling on the negative, then go for it!  

     If finding that sweet spot of self-adoration requires reconfiguring your circle, give them the walking room they need to exit stage left.  And if it takes seeking the time of a trained professional to help guide your path to realizing how perfect, whole and complete you are, then take that step.

     In this new season, shake off the dust of doubt and move forward to loving the splendid being that occupies the place where you sit reading these encouraging words. When you love yourself and accept your shortcomings as well as successes, you will find a phenomenal new way of thinking.

     Admittedly, embracing loving your faults and all may not be as easy as just making that decision. Too many of us have been hard-wired to doubt ourselves.

     However, I know we all can be better at cherishing ourselves–which will help others to do the same. We all have something special going for us.

     Recently, we celebrated a holiday dedicated to love. So many of us focused on getting the right thing to show how much we value and appreciate others. I challenge us to celebrate every day by loving ourselves–and the highs, lows and  in-betweens.

     Until next time, “Adios, au revoir…and I holler!”

LaToya Hankins is the author of SBF Seeking, and K-Rho: The Sweet Taste of Sisterhood.  Currently, LaToya is an employee of the State of North Carolina’s Health and Human Services department.  Prior to that, she worked for nearly a decade in the field of journalism.  An East Carolina University graduate, LaToya  earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in journalism, with a minor in political science. 

During her college career, LaToya became a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc., and currently is the president of the Chapel Hill, N.C. graduate chapter. As well, she is an active member of the, The Black Lesbian Literary Collective,a non-profit organization organized in N.C.  The Collective’s mission is to create a nurturing and sustainable environment for Black lesbian and queer women of color writers. 

You may reach LaToya at her on line home, latoyahankins.com ; email, latoya.hankins@yahoo.com;
Facebook, www.facebook.com/latoyahankins;
and on Twitter, @hankinslatoya.