I’ve made it my ongoing–and fervent–mission to continue to shine a bright light on a specific insidious, demoralizing, and horrific behavior that continues to plague the LGBTQ Community—Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse, or IPV/A. This is Part 18 of the ongoing series that will address this potentially life-threatening cycle of abuse.

October Is Purple Month!

You might ask, “Oh, yeah? Really? Well, what the heck is that all about?”

Let me explain. You see, we wear purple—actually, a purple ribbon—as a symbol used to honor victims and survivors of domestic violence/abuse (DVA), which can include sexual violence. In the LGBTQ+ community, we refer to DVA  as Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse (IPV/A). The U.S. has designated October National Domestic Violence Awareness Month (NDVAM) .

Statistics show that IPV/A occurs with a similar frequency as in heterosexual relationships. Additionally, new research suggests that a more significant percentage of LGBTQ+ individuals are living in fear of an abusive partner than previously thought. And each year, between 50,000-100,000 lesbians (or more) and as many as 500,000 (or more) Gay/SGL (same-gender-loving) men are battered, and about one in four LGBTQ+ relationships/partnerships are abusive in some way.

Sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence and abuse are growing problems. What makes matters worse is that incidences of IPV/A often are under-reported amongst same-sex couples.

Let’s drill down even further. The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) states the following: “In the U.S., more than 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually. An incident of abuse happens more frequently than every three seconds.”

NCAVP continues. “1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience some form of intimate partner sexual violence, intimate partner physical violence, and/or intimate partner stalking during their lifetime.” And try to digest this rather stomach-churning statistic: nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.” And to make matters worse, COVID dramatically exacerbated incidences of both DVA and IPV/A. 

In recognition of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I want to share with you how this observance came to be. 

And how it has grown.

NDVAM evolved from the first Day of Unity, which the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence established in October 1981. The intent was to connect battered women advocates across the nation who were working to end violence against women and their children.

Soon, when various activities were conducted at the local, state, and national levels, the Day of Unity became a memorable week. These activities were as varied and diverse as the program sponsors–but had common themes: mourning those who had died because of domestic violence, celebrating those who had survived, and connecting those who worked to end violence and abuse.

Then, in October 1987, the inaugural Domestic Violence Awareness Month was observed. In that same year, the first national toll-free hotline was initiated. And in 1989, the U. S. Congress passed Public Law 101-112, designating October of that year as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

In October 1994, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), in conjunction with Ms. Magazine, created the “Remember My Name” project, a national registry to increase public awareness of deaths due to domestic violence and abuse. On October 11, 2003, the U.S. Postal Service issued their “Stop Family Violence” stamp. A young girl, who expressed her sadness about domestic violence, created the design of this first-class stamp. Profits from the stamp sale were transferred to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to assist domestic violence programs.

I’ve made it my ongoing–and fervent–mission to continue to shine a bright light on IPV/A, a hellish and potentially life-threatening cycle of dysfunctional behavior.  This entire month, and every month…

We Must RISE UP…And Tell Someone! Anyone Who Will Listen. We must make our “Great Escape.”

And always remember: the most potent weapon the abuser has in their arsenal is…SILENCE!

If you or someone you know is experiencing IPV/A, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233), the Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project Hotline (1-800-832-1901), the Trans Lifeline Hotline (U.S., 877-565-8860. Canada, 877-330-6366).

I have a special IPV/A section right here at Wyattevans.com that includes resources to assist victims. Check it out.

The time is NOW to break the cycle!